about us
Since 1998, MarineBio has been a nonprofit volunteer marine conservation and science education group working together to spread the word about ocean life, marine biology, marine conservation, and a sea ethic.

Join the MarineBio Conservation Society »

» MarineBio@Facebook

» MarineBio's Group@Facebook

MarineBio@Twitter

» The MarineBio Blog

» MarineBio's Ocean Channel

» MarineBio's Species Database



» The MarineBio Conservation Society

MarineBio@Facebook
Whaling, shark finning and conservation, sea turtles, pollution, global warming, overfishing... marine conservation groups, etc.

Proud Species Commits Suicide Rather Than Be Driven To...

Proud Species Commits Suicide Rather Than Be Driven To...

Postby David » 2/27/13

Image

COOS BAY, OR—Amidst rapidly deteriorating environmental conditions that have left the species in imminent danger of extinction, the world’s leatherback sea turtles announced plans Tuesday to commit mass suicide rather than allow human beings to wipe them out. “For years we’ve just been sitting around waiting for these iceholes to finish us off, but I say if we’re gonna go out, we do it on our own terms,” said a 25-year-old female leatherback, who along with others of her species confirmed she would rather throw herself into the rudder of a fishing boat than “give those corksuckers the satisfaction of finishing the job.” “Any of us who managed to survive this massacre would at best end up displayed in an aquarium or penned up in some bullshit ocean preserve, and what kind of life is that? No thanks. We’re leaving this world with our dignity intact.” Several leatherback turtles added that while suicide was indeed their most respectable option, they would regret not being around later this century to see the human race itself driven to extinction.

Source (unedited version): http://www.theonion.com/articles/proud- ... ive,31449/ <3
User avatar
David
~~~admin~~~
 
Posts: 3693
Joined: 5/28/03
Location: Planet Ocean

Re: Proud Species Commits Suicide Rather Than Be Driven To..

Postby Izzy » 3/2/13

For anyone who is wondering and missed the link to The Onion (as I did), this is satire. But just as most good satire, it is pretty close to home. It reminds me a bit of Douglas Adam's dolphins leaving the Earth before it is destroyed...

Thanks, David! :)
~Izzy
Biological Oceanographer

If you think Education is expensive, try Ignorance.
"The inhabitants of the sea have much to teach us." ~Wyland
"I have slipped the bonds of Earth to dance with dolphins." :dolphin: ~Wyland
"If human civilization is going to invade the waters of the earth, then let it be first of all to carry a message of respect." ~ Jacques Cousteau
NOSB: A great way for high schoolers to learn about the oceans.
A whale killed a dolphin but he was acquitted because he didn't do it on porpoise.

><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>¸.
User avatar
Izzy
~~moderator~~
 
Posts: 6110
Joined: 2/2/06
Location: Planet Ocean

Re: Proud Species Commits Suicide Rather Than Be Driven To..

Postby David » 3/2/13

So long, and thanks for all the fish! :-)
David Campbell
MarineBio Founder/Director
>-<ºº>-<
~~~ Join the MarineBio Conservation Society and help us continue to share the wonders of
the ocean inspiring conservation, education, research, and a sea ethic. ~~~


Extending a sea ethic would mean recognizing the ocean’s importance to the continued existence of life on our planet and to human futures. From this recognition would flow an appropriate sense of moral imperative, commitment, and urgency—urgency toward ending overfishing and wasteful bycatch and aggressively rebuilding depleted ocean wildlife populations, stabilizing human effects on world climate, slowing habitat destruction, stemming global transport and accidental introduction of "alien" species, curbing the flow of contaminants and trash, developing sustainable seafood farming, cultivating an informed approach to the seafood marketplace, and implementing networks of protected areas in the sea. - Dr. Carl Safina

If you think you can, you might, if you think you can't, you never will. - Anon
Don't believe everything you think. - Anon
It's nice to be important. But it's much more important to be nice. - The Nature of Existence
Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Albert Einstein
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. - Steve Martin
User avatar
David
~~~admin~~~
 
Posts: 3693
Joined: 5/28/03
Location: Planet Ocean

Return to Marine Conservation